The engagement season is finally over, and now you are married. It is a great feeling to be joined with the one God ordained for you. Although marriage is beautiful, there will be days where you doubt yourself and God. Once you are married, the real work begins. Let me tell you, the honeymoon phase does not last forever.
Marriage is meant to be a representation of Christ and his love for the church. Ephesians 5:22-32 gives a clear explanation of that. Keeping your eyes on God while you are single and engaged is much different than keeping your eyes on God during a marriage. The enemy does not want to see you in a happy and fulfilling marriage. He can use even the smallest things to tear you apart. When things get tough, it can lead you to doubt God and why you even got married in the first place.
When you get married, although you may have been a good boyfriend or girlfriend, it does not guarantee that you will be a good husband or wife. How can you be great at something you have never experienced or practiced? You will never be perfect, and God does not expect us to be. It’s not about perfection; it is about being and doing your best to love the way God says you are to love–even when you do not feel like it.
For me, I was nervous about being able to dive into the role of a wife. I learned things about my husband that after five years of dating, I still did not know. You may think you know everything about your spouse, but once you come into that marriage covenant, you begin to learn new things both good and bad. The only one that truly knows your spouse is God; after all he created them. What you may not have realized before is that marriage challenges you and pushes you. It should cause you to step out of your comfort zone and become better. It also exposes you. You begin to see the areas in you that you thought you dealt with but hadn’t. You also notice the places of strength inside of you that you did not know you had.
After a year of marriage, I can say marriage is not easy, but it is worth it. The biggest test for me during my first year of marriage was, being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. The little things you found to be cute while you were dating and engaged turns out not to be so cute in a marriage. Sometimes miscommunication can lead to unnecessary disagreements. Life will get busy and times will get hard, but it is important to keep your focus on God. When you have your first big argument, remembering the purpose for which God brought you two together will help you stay and not run away and give up. Every situation and challenge should lead you back to God’s throne, not further away from your spouse.
Marriage isn’t about you. When you start thinking it’s about you, it starts going down the drain. Marriage is a covenant. It is about destiny and purpose, and the only way you can fulfill the purpose for which God brought you and your spouse together is through the power of Jesus Christ. If you don’t keep your eyes on Christ, you may become frustrated very quickly. It is so easy to ask God to change your spouse, but it may not be them who needs changing–it may be you. When you keep your eyes on God, he will begin to show you in what ways you need to change and become better. Although marriage is tough, with the direction and love of Christ you can make it through the tough times. Let God make your marriage stronger. Don’t give up when it gets hard. Let the hardships bring you and your spouse closer together. Learn to love unconditionally. By learning to love without conditions, you begin to learn the depth of God’s love for you.
My name is Jaymi Saffold. I am from St. Louis, MO but recently moved to Dallas, TX after marrying my God ordained spouse in October of 2015. I graduated from Oral Roberts University. My major was Biology Pre-Medicine and I had a double minor in Humanities and Biochemistry. I love God and I am able to express that love through my writing. I also have a passion for dance, fitness, and cooking.