I saw him every time I closed my eyes, he hunted my dreams at night, and he filled my thoughts whenever they were idle. I didn’t know his name, and I never saw his face but I yearned for him with a hunger so deep it took my breath away. He was the embodiment of everything I wanted from everyone that ever crossed my path. He was the cure to every childhood dream, memory, victory, pain and conflict that formed the dysfunctional being that I was. He could heal every cut left by the ones who hurt me, deserted me and took a part of me with them when they left. He was the solution for abandonment, financial instability, failed/unrequited love, and everything that was wrong with my life. He was my hero. He was my source. He…wasn’t real.
There will never be a man that can fix me, protect me from everything and make me whole. No man could take away my shame and my pain. No man could be the spring of everything that I ever wished for. No man could be the source. No man that is, except the One who knitted me together from my mother’s womb (psalm 139:13). Overtime I came to realize that everything I longed and yearned for was only an echo of my yearning for God.
Have you ever wanted something to the point that you would do almost anything to obtain it only to realize that when you finally attain that goal, you are left with an even deeper yearning? Nothing here on this earth satisfies you. The novelty of things only last for so long. Those moments of happiness are fleeting and few and far in between. If it’s not one thing, it’s another, you are never truly satisfied. Well this deep, insatiable yearning is because God has placed eternity in the earth of men (Ecclesiastes 3:11), and we will never be satisfied until we truly know Him.
So on that note dear ones, we need to learn to recognize our yearning for pleasure, power and love into what it really is: a yearning for God. If your yearning is for the pleasures of food to satisfy you and make you whole after you have been deeply hurt, put down that sweet role and remember a different kind of bread, Jesus, the bread of life. Remember His promise that whoever seeks Him will never go hungry (John 6:35). If your desire is for the power that things like achievement can bring you, set aside those ambitions for the biggest house, the newest cars, and the highest promotions and set your eyes instead on Jehovah Jireh, the Lord our provider. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with achieving great things and having ambitions but when those desirers are always for the next and the best, we have to remember that those things are fleeting and like we are warned about in Mathew 6:19-20. Our achievements can be destroyed by moths and vermin and they can be stolen by thieves but if we instead look to achieve in the kingdom, those achievements will endure forever. And finally if like me your deepest desire if for a restoring love, look no further than the cross. Our culture constantly push the idea that all you need is love and that love can make you whole. But we know that the love that you need, the type that makes you whole cannot be embodied by a man or a woman but by the healing stripes of Jesus Christ. So let us renew our minds, let us direct our constant yearnings to the word of God, let our desires only be to know Jesus Christ, the eternal source.
Stephanie Richard grew up in a Chritian household, accepted Christ as her personal savior at the age of ten but was not baptized in the faith until the age of eighteen. Since her baptism Stephanie has been using her passion for Christ and her passion for writing to inspire people in the faith. As of May 2017, Stephanie will be a Florida State University graduate with a major in Psychology and a minor in Family and Child Sciences. She aspires to continue her education in the hopes of building up the Kingdom by helping families to establish a strong foundation in Christ in order to build a better future. In her spare time Stephanie enjoys reading, writing, planning, playing candy crush and experimenting with various DIY projects.